Dear Readalot,
I've had people send me letters of utter displeasure at my long silence. Some of you have threatened to kidnap my brother and sell him to the highest bidder. Please, go ahead.
On a serious note though, please come and carry him.
I had been wondering what would be a good way to end this long hiatus. Then my mother happened.
The Land of Babble...Welcome :)
Showing posts with label nigeria. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nigeria. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Pishaun
Dear Readalot,
I've been in the States for close to four months now. Four months without NEPA. Without MTN. Without POTHOLES. Without GEJ. What else could anyone possibly ask for? Not much. My mum told me not to come back home as there has been peace at home since I left. I asked her who I should give the shoes I was planning to bring back to her. She changed her mind and said I can return for about 2 days with her shoes- and then leave again. Motherly love? Anyways, since I got here, most of the things I used to worry about, I haven't worried about in a while. I have even escaped insult. My brother still tells me regularly that I'm adopted, but now, he only does it on twitter.
I've been in the States for close to four months now. Four months without NEPA. Without MTN. Without POTHOLES. Without GEJ. What else could anyone possibly ask for? Not much. My mum told me not to come back home as there has been peace at home since I left. I asked her who I should give the shoes I was planning to bring back to her. She changed her mind and said I can return for about 2 days with her shoes- and then leave again. Motherly love? Anyways, since I got here, most of the things I used to worry about, I haven't worried about in a while. I have even escaped insult. My brother still tells me regularly that I'm adopted, but now, he only does it on twitter.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Mortal Kombat
Dear Readalot,
I'd like to tell a tale of warriors...
______________________________
Vexalot tears his shirt and beats his chest like a chimpanzee. He runs around with his eyes wide. He's unbelievably angry. He points at the piece of scum in front of him;
I'd like to tell a tale of warriors...
______________________________
Vexalot tears his shirt and beats his chest like a chimpanzee. He runs around with his eyes wide. He's unbelievably angry. He points at the piece of scum in front of him;
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
I Can't Come And Kill Myself!!
Dear Readalot,
It's not uncommon to see stuff like - 'By the year 2037, 23,694 African women will have k-leg" or "Every month, 12,600 African children will have died of Metalocuosfo Shyajbdja something something." Day in; Day out. Year in; Year out. I've always wondered who gave the westerners ruler to be measuring all these things.
Africans, in general, and Nigerians, specifically, don't follow any trend. We don't bend to numbers. We don't respect statistics. The things worrying us in this country are more than enough to enable us break the status quo. For example, I had already typed 'status co' before I corrected it. With issues like that, what oyinbo person wants to successfully dabble in my business?? None, I dare say. You're not convinced?
Imagine a laborer, who has been carrying cement for months, hustling for his family or for his girlfriend, goes to General Hospital. "Doctor, I get small headache" , he says. Doctor tells him, "You have a mild case of Anaplasmosis." He'll be stunned for a minute and when he gets home and they ask him what the doctor said, he'll answer "Na malaria oh my guy. Mild malaria." Surprisingly, he recovers from this 'malaria'. Things are already too difficult for Anaplasmosis to survive. Even diseases need good candidates.
We have a kind of immunity to the issues the rest of the world is facing. Our own things happen in reverse. In yankee, for example, they discover sicknesses. One scientist announces, "We have recently discovered a new virus in the wild yamakata monkeys. Please stay away from brown meat with monkey hairs." Suddenly, there's a panic. Oyinbo people are going up and down in airports with masks. They have monkey-hair vaccines.
On the other hand, the yamakata monkeys come to naija and the head yamkata monkey announces to his horde, "You're now in Nigeria. These people will run you down. If you near them bayi, your own haff finish. If you see a Nigerian, run!! Run, because e no go pay you." *sigh*
Unfortunately, these statistics the westerners come up with are usually based on their own lifestyle. They live, think, act and even love a certain way. In a place like the United States, the average man worries about weight loss, wrinkles, finding their life partners on reality TV, leaving their entire estates to their pets, saving the trees - you know, the really important stuff.
My people have an entirely different agenda. First, you need to have access to correct junk food to be getting fat. Junk ain't cheap here. Guys hustle regularly to buy pizza for their babes. The hustle no go gree am fat. The razz babe sef no go chop the pizza. She doesn't understand all the funny things on top. "Wetin be cheese?" As for our pets, we eat them. Those we don't eat, we kill or beat because they're witches and wizards. And the trees?? Firewood is a major source of livelihood, directly or indirectly, so trees will never be safe here.
In my opinion, Nigerians are too busy being broke, surviving, collecting bribe and entering potholes to be bothered with all of these things. The other day, my brother, Wozealot, was telling me, with so much passion, how he had drunk garri and groundnut that morning. You would think maybe he won the lottery. These are the kinds of things we worry about. Garri. Groundnut. Cold water - the things that matter most!?!?
They complain about our grammar. We don't know how to speak English. As I typed, they underlined so many of my words. They don't think it's correct. Heck, they even underline my name when I type it in. Rather than worry about the burden of the English language, we create ours. "Af come!"; "Off the gen." Smh.
Oyinbo people have the luxury of visiting shrinks/psychiatrists when they feel depressed. They have a setback and are sad. Oh! so sad. So, they go to see their therapists twice every week. They even have suicide hotlines - numbers you call whenever you feel like killing yourself rather than committing suicide. Sometimes, they break up with their significant other and can't stand the pressure and, BOOM! They pull the trigger. Or perhaps, their parents don't let them pursue their dreams. They want to study dance and mumcee says, "You have to do medicine." - and BOOM!!
Over here, the average man doesn't even know what a shrink is. Asides that, people are too busy hustling to be depressed. If and when they do get depressed and the depression is getting too much and starts turning to another kind of mental issue, no therapist. Yaba left, straight!! Naija people don't kill themselves. They love life entirely too much. After all the suffer head, they want to be here when things get better so suicide is not even an option. While oyinbo kids go crazy because their parents don't want them to do what their heart wants, here people pay other people to let them study what they don't want - which is why you find grown Igbo men studying Yoruba. All na certificate!
In the white man's land, if things go awry, they sue people. They fight back. They go back to the constitution. Here, when things go bad, we make jokes. Everything is funny. And why not? Suing someone is pretty much a waste of time. The verdict is in the favour of the highest bidder. We're used to nonsense, so we take it like we breathe. The general mentality now is -"I can't come and kill myself". You can get a Nigerian down, but you can hardly keep him there.
Our culture has chosen to set us apart from the rest of the world. I heard somewhere and agree with this - Some people in our part of the world have loads of children because it's like an insurance. What if we lose two, will there be any left. Or they think, worst case, at least, one of these eight will be successful and take care of me in my old age. It's horrid thinking, yes. Still, seeing how people have to struggle daily to make ends meet. People hardly dream now because they have forgotten how to pursue their dreams. When they do pursue the dreams, the fog of under-development, uncertainty, lack, hunger, fear, oppression clouds their path.
Oyinbo people can and will always come up with their numbers and statistics. However, it is apparent that they do not know that we live by entirely different rules. We're guided by different laws. We are hardly, if at all, subjects to the 'Order of the West'. It's good some days; it's bad most days. But at the end of the day, it is what is is.
Yours truly, Rantalot.
It's not uncommon to see stuff like - 'By the year 2037, 23,694 African women will have k-leg" or "Every month, 12,600 African children will have died of Metalocuosfo Shyajbdja something something." Day in; Day out. Year in; Year out. I've always wondered who gave the westerners ruler to be measuring all these things.
Africans, in general, and Nigerians, specifically, don't follow any trend. We don't bend to numbers. We don't respect statistics. The things worrying us in this country are more than enough to enable us break the status quo. For example, I had already typed 'status co' before I corrected it. With issues like that, what oyinbo person wants to successfully dabble in my business?? None, I dare say. You're not convinced?
Imagine a laborer, who has been carrying cement for months, hustling for his family or for his girlfriend, goes to General Hospital. "Doctor, I get small headache" , he says. Doctor tells him, "You have a mild case of Anaplasmosis." He'll be stunned for a minute and when he gets home and they ask him what the doctor said, he'll answer "Na malaria oh my guy. Mild malaria." Surprisingly, he recovers from this 'malaria'. Things are already too difficult for Anaplasmosis to survive. Even diseases need good candidates.
We have a kind of immunity to the issues the rest of the world is facing. Our own things happen in reverse. In yankee, for example, they discover sicknesses. One scientist announces, "We have recently discovered a new virus in the wild yamakata monkeys. Please stay away from brown meat with monkey hairs." Suddenly, there's a panic. Oyinbo people are going up and down in airports with masks. They have monkey-hair vaccines.
On the other hand, the yamakata monkeys come to naija and the head yamkata monkey announces to his horde, "You're now in Nigeria. These people will run you down. If you near them bayi, your own haff finish. If you see a Nigerian, run!! Run, because e no go pay you." *sigh*
Unfortunately, these statistics the westerners come up with are usually based on their own lifestyle. They live, think, act and even love a certain way. In a place like the United States, the average man worries about weight loss, wrinkles, finding their life partners on reality TV, leaving their entire estates to their pets, saving the trees - you know, the really important stuff.
My people have an entirely different agenda. First, you need to have access to correct junk food to be getting fat. Junk ain't cheap here. Guys hustle regularly to buy pizza for their babes. The hustle no go gree am fat. The razz babe sef no go chop the pizza. She doesn't understand all the funny things on top. "Wetin be cheese?" As for our pets, we eat them. Those we don't eat, we kill or beat because they're witches and wizards. And the trees?? Firewood is a major source of livelihood, directly or indirectly, so trees will never be safe here.
In my opinion, Nigerians are too busy being broke, surviving, collecting bribe and entering potholes to be bothered with all of these things. The other day, my brother, Wozealot, was telling me, with so much passion, how he had drunk garri and groundnut that morning. You would think maybe he won the lottery. These are the kinds of things we worry about. Garri. Groundnut. Cold water - the things that matter most!?!?
They complain about our grammar. We don't know how to speak English. As I typed, they underlined so many of my words. They don't think it's correct. Heck, they even underline my name when I type it in. Rather than worry about the burden of the English language, we create ours. "Af come!"; "Off the gen." Smh.
Oyinbo people have the luxury of visiting shrinks/psychiatrists when they feel depressed. They have a setback and are sad. Oh! so sad. So, they go to see their therapists twice every week. They even have suicide hotlines - numbers you call whenever you feel like killing yourself rather than committing suicide. Sometimes, they break up with their significant other and can't stand the pressure and, BOOM! They pull the trigger. Or perhaps, their parents don't let them pursue their dreams. They want to study dance and mumcee says, "You have to do medicine." - and BOOM!!
Over here, the average man doesn't even know what a shrink is. Asides that, people are too busy hustling to be depressed. If and when they do get depressed and the depression is getting too much and starts turning to another kind of mental issue, no therapist. Yaba left, straight!! Naija people don't kill themselves. They love life entirely too much. After all the suffer head, they want to be here when things get better so suicide is not even an option. While oyinbo kids go crazy because their parents don't want them to do what their heart wants, here people pay other people to let them study what they don't want - which is why you find grown Igbo men studying Yoruba. All na certificate!
In the white man's land, if things go awry, they sue people. They fight back. They go back to the constitution. Here, when things go bad, we make jokes. Everything is funny. And why not? Suing someone is pretty much a waste of time. The verdict is in the favour of the highest bidder. We're used to nonsense, so we take it like we breathe. The general mentality now is -"I can't come and kill myself". You can get a Nigerian down, but you can hardly keep him there.
Our culture has chosen to set us apart from the rest of the world. I heard somewhere and agree with this - Some people in our part of the world have loads of children because it's like an insurance. What if we lose two, will there be any left. Or they think, worst case, at least, one of these eight will be successful and take care of me in my old age. It's horrid thinking, yes. Still, seeing how people have to struggle daily to make ends meet. People hardly dream now because they have forgotten how to pursue their dreams. When they do pursue the dreams, the fog of under-development, uncertainty, lack, hunger, fear, oppression clouds their path.
Oyinbo people can and will always come up with their numbers and statistics. However, it is apparent that they do not know that we live by entirely different rules. We're guided by different laws. We are hardly, if at all, subjects to the 'Order of the West'. It's good some days; it's bad most days. But at the end of the day, it is what is is.
Yours truly, Rantalot.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
The Hafengers
Almost on a daily basis, I see all these incredibly, amazingly astounding super-heores on TV. Saving America. Making a difference in Jand. When there’s about to be a nuclear blast, the center of the action is always New York, or Washington, or maybe London sef. But here in Naija…Nothing!!! No super ‘anytin’. We’re on our very own.
If you push someone off a five-storey building, the person will land, face first, because Superman won’t come. If trailer is coming at you and you have nowhere to run, it will jam you because there’s no Incredible Hulk to stop it. If somebody ties you with rope, there's no Wolverine with his knuckle-knives to come and cut it. Or even when you want to buy something and the igbo-guy selling it calls price for you, Professor Xavier won’t be there to help you read his mind and tell you whether he’s cheating you. The list goes on and on and on. We Nigerians are at a disadvantage without super-heroes.
The question then is this – Are Superman and co being unnecessarily unfair? I’ve thought long and hard about it. I have also discussed it at length with my not-so-imaginary friend, Kaptain Private and we have concluded that you can’t blame them. If I were a super-hero, I’d stay away from Nigeria too.
Imagine Batman wants to sharply go rescue someone in Ajah in his Batmobile, and he’s coming from Ikorodu. Before he reaches, the person would either have died or rescued himself. He’ll use one hour to battle potholes in Ikorodu. Police will stop him and ask why his windows are tinted. Okada will bump and scratch his ride. When he’s about to enter Island, they would have closed 3rd Mainland Bridge...etc.
Or say Thor wants to sharply break one armed-robbers head, he finds that someone has stolen the hammer. Yes. The same hammer that only Thor’s supposed to be able to carry. Naija boys will move that thing and nothing will happen.
Magneto, on the other hand, is jejeli performing his duties. He stretches his supernatural hand and calls all the metals to himself. Little does he know that almost everything is fake. When you’re calling silver and gold and it’s only fake fake Aba made things that are there. Aba made things don’t respond to anybody. Magneto would be a waste here.
Perhaps Iron Man wants to run from one bad guy. He jumps from the building and waits for his Iron man suit to come and meet him. Unfortunately, NEPA has taken light. There is no light to open the door for the suit. And Iron Man lands *SPLAT*. The End.
Superman won’t be able to fly, for all the Nepa Poles. He’ll keep getting tangled. And when he rescues someone and he’s flying to take them to a safe place; If he mistakenly flies over Benin, All those ‘birds’ will ‘un-rescue’ the person.
Spiderman nko? Is it buildings that are waiting to collapse he wants to be swinging from. Kaptain Private said Spidey will prolly have to operate Okada. Smh.
If Hulk uses too much power to jump on all these our badly done roads, He’ll end up underground. And then he, the superhero, will need rescuing.
You see how risky the super-hero business is in Naija? Why do you think no Nigerian has even invested in flying suits and such?
The only heroes we can boast of here are babalawos, witches and policemen…“The Hafengers”.
If the super heroes should even decide to come, I can only imagine the things Naija people will ask for -
“Mr Fantastic, I want to do my BIS oh. Abeg stretch hand and get money for me. Thank you, Sir.”
“Thor, see that girl snatched my boyfriend. Use your hammer and bury her for me.”
“Wolverine please help me give my child tribal mark. All three lines at a go.”
“Wonder Woman shey you’ll help me pose and trick my husband. I want to see if the idiot is cheating on me.”
Even kidnappers will start asking Superman to help them hide their victims in Mars.
If you were a superhero, would you come to Naija?
O_o
Yours truly, Rantalot.
If you push someone off a five-storey building, the person will land, face first, because Superman won’t come. If trailer is coming at you and you have nowhere to run, it will jam you because there’s no Incredible Hulk to stop it. If somebody ties you with rope, there's no Wolverine with his knuckle-knives to come and cut it. Or even when you want to buy something and the igbo-guy selling it calls price for you, Professor Xavier won’t be there to help you read his mind and tell you whether he’s cheating you. The list goes on and on and on. We Nigerians are at a disadvantage without super-heroes.
The question then is this – Are Superman and co being unnecessarily unfair? I’ve thought long and hard about it. I have also discussed it at length with my not-so-imaginary friend, Kaptain Private and we have concluded that you can’t blame them. If I were a super-hero, I’d stay away from Nigeria too.
Imagine Batman wants to sharply go rescue someone in Ajah in his Batmobile, and he’s coming from Ikorodu. Before he reaches, the person would either have died or rescued himself. He’ll use one hour to battle potholes in Ikorodu. Police will stop him and ask why his windows are tinted. Okada will bump and scratch his ride. When he’s about to enter Island, they would have closed 3rd Mainland Bridge...etc.
Or say Thor wants to sharply break one armed-robbers head, he finds that someone has stolen the hammer. Yes. The same hammer that only Thor’s supposed to be able to carry. Naija boys will move that thing and nothing will happen.
Magneto, on the other hand, is jejeli performing his duties. He stretches his supernatural hand and calls all the metals to himself. Little does he know that almost everything is fake. When you’re calling silver and gold and it’s only fake fake Aba made things that are there. Aba made things don’t respond to anybody. Magneto would be a waste here.
Perhaps Iron Man wants to run from one bad guy. He jumps from the building and waits for his Iron man suit to come and meet him. Unfortunately, NEPA has taken light. There is no light to open the door for the suit. And Iron Man lands *SPLAT*. The End.
Superman won’t be able to fly, for all the Nepa Poles. He’ll keep getting tangled. And when he rescues someone and he’s flying to take them to a safe place; If he mistakenly flies over Benin, All those ‘birds’ will ‘un-rescue’ the person.
Spiderman nko? Is it buildings that are waiting to collapse he wants to be swinging from. Kaptain Private said Spidey will prolly have to operate Okada. Smh.
If Hulk uses too much power to jump on all these our badly done roads, He’ll end up underground. And then he, the superhero, will need rescuing.
You see how risky the super-hero business is in Naija? Why do you think no Nigerian has even invested in flying suits and such?
The only heroes we can boast of here are babalawos, witches and policemen…“The Hafengers”.
“Mr Fantastic, I want to do my BIS oh. Abeg stretch hand and get money for me. Thank you, Sir.”
“Thor, see that girl snatched my boyfriend. Use your hammer and bury her for me.”
“Wolverine please help me give my child tribal mark. All three lines at a go.”
“Wonder Woman shey you’ll help me pose and trick my husband. I want to see if the idiot is cheating on me.”
Even kidnappers will start asking Superman to help them hide their victims in Mars.
If you were a superhero, would you come to Naija?
O_o
Yours truly, Rantalot.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Agberophobia
A few mornings ago, I, my sister, my sister-in-law, my mum
and our guardian angels gathered for a quick gist/gossip session. Something
came up that brought something else up, that brought something else up, that
brought one gist I had kept somewhere at the back of my mind up. They had a
good time laughing at me – Why shouldn’t you? :p
I used to have a phobia for agbero boys. To me, they were
like the powers that be. They could do anything they wanted and get away with
it. If they insulted you, you should thank them. Don’t look them in the eye. If
they ask you for money, give them with a smile…and even then, don’t smile too
wide. Call them ‘brother’ or ‘uncle’ if necessary. NOTE: It is ALWAYS
necessary.
If you’re a regular visitor to The Rant Lot, you’ll remember
I mentioned I grew up in one gangster area. I was walking in this gangster area
one day, strolling by myself to go buy something or the other. On my way back
home, a young man of average height stepped to me and pulled me back
“Baby.” He said. “Baby, wa now.” I looked at him. With his
raggedy everything; I knew he was an agbero. Under normal circumstances, I
would give the guy the evil eye, hiss and walk away. This, my brethren, was not
a normal circumstance. An agbero was involved. So, I stopped and looked at him
tentatively. “Sir?” I said, timidly. He looked me over and smiled.
“Bawo ni? O ma fine gan.” He said.
“Ese Sir.” I replied and remained where I was standing. ‘He
hadn’t released me’, I thought to myself.
This agbero, let’s call him Fearalot said he loved me and
wanted me to be his girlfriend. I smiled politely and spent over an hour trying
to explain to him that I had a boyfriend. I told him I really liked him and
would have given him a chance but I was hooked. Fearalot said he doesn’t mind.
He was completely willing to share me with my boyfriend. I stood there and
listened to him try to convince me that he was the one for me. (If you can,
picture me walking down the aisle with an agbero - *sigh*). In all that time, I
was shaking with fear. I stayed, because I worried that he would find me at a
later time and hurt me or maybe beat up my family -_-
At one point he asked me if he wasn’t good-looking enough.
“Se mi o dun to ni?” He asked, pointing at himself. I looked him over, funny
cloths and all and told him he was extremely handsome and that it wasn’t about
that. After a while, I gathered a little courage and said I had to get back
home, because my dad was waiting for me. He insisted he would follow me home. O_O
Follow me home ke?? He walked with me until I was almost home. I let him walk
with me.
Another Rule – Never tell an agbero not to walk with you if
he wants to. However, I stopped and begged him to go back. I couldn’t afford to
have all those guys I had been forming for in my area, see me with him.
Fearalot looked at me and asked how he would be sure that I
would come see him like I had ‘promised’. I had this bandana on my hair that I
had recently bought and was in love with. I took it off and gave it to him.
Told him I would find him and come get it. Finally, he turned and left.
The fear of agbero is the beginning of idiocy (-_-)
Yours truly, Rantalot.
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
The Good, The Bad and The Sad
This past weekend was probably my longest this year…(taking
a minute to see if I’m exaggerating)…Nah, that’s about right. It was an
incredibly long weekend. Grab yourself a cup of cold lemonade and settle down
for the gist. It’s a pretty long one. For those living in Ajegunle, Sango or
Ikorodu, zobo’s fine. All’s well that ends well (-_-).
One of my mentor’s sister had waited on God for about 15
years for a baby…and then...she had...wait for this ...TRIPLETS. O_O God can
like to show Himself innit? Okay, so that’s where the story begins. She and her
husband got this miracle, and my friends and I planned to go with my mentor to celebrate
with his sister in Abuja. We also decided a road trip would be loads of fun. So
we set out.
The bus moved off with us the passengers at a pretty okay pace.
We were all happy and excited…Yaaay, right?? Well a few minutes after we left,
we found traffic. There had been an accident. The ‘pilot’ had to maneuver his
way around all the corner-corner in the area. We made a lot of unfruitful turns. Street boys created
several ‘toll gates’, each one, about 10 feet away from the next. Various cars
and buses paid ‘toll-gate officers’ for passing the small corner streets. To
divert a bit, the government needs to inform the people about
temporary toll gates…so people can plan better ( ‘,‘).
Finally, we found a way out of the fracas and got on the
free express again. We were excited again. The driver who finally had enough
room to display his skills started looking for all the potholes on the road and
then entered them with glee. He did this so much so that the guy sitting in the
back, on the tire spot said, “I feel like nauseating.” The plenty bumps must
have juggled his vocabulary around (If you don’t hear from me, be sure he read
this post and kidnapped me, which would be sad, because my mum won’t pay). Several
bumps and potholes later, I discovered that apart from our DNA and
fingerprints, we have something else that sets each and everyone apart – Tummy
growls. My tummy growled in hunger, as did all our tummies. Some in soprano,
some in tenor, others completely off-key. However, the traffic had set us back
a few hours; we couldn’t really stop and get some grub randomly. So we settled
for gala and lacasera. I’m not crazy about gala…as a kid I would make my dad
buy me like five and then eat half of one. It’s called ‘showing yourself’.
Anyways, this day, I ate gala because hunger isn’t very picky. Some of the guys
bought dodo ikire – dodo fried in some kinna gunky funny thing, I think – and I
tried some, definitely not my thing.
The bus we went in was one that had a DVD player. Cool
stuff, yea?? We asked the driver to put oyinbo film. He slid a Van Damne
collection in the player. After the first movie, we all got a little tired of
all the violence, but it kept going. Going that long made me wonder how Van
Damne survives all of that throwing around and being thrown around.
We saw some incredible sights. Once, we saw clouds sitting
on some hills. It was beautiful and I remember feeling sorry for those who
don’t believe in God.
People got sleepy. One guy’s head ended up on another guy’s
shoulder. I guess we’re most vulnerable when we’re unconscious (-_-). Being a
princess and everything, I had to stretch my legs, so I raised them over the
chair in front of me. I kept hitting the guy sitting there. If he looked at me
funny, I would bat my eyelashes just so and everything was fine.
We passed Owo town in Ondo State.
I saw signs stating the fact and claimed the state. After all, my father is
from there. I was proud of all the hills and everything. We stopped over for a
bit and someone wanted to buy recharge card. He said “EMU-TEE-EN”. I’m like
“Why are you talking like that?” He said that’s how they talk. I sharply
disclaimed the state.
It was a long journey, but finally, we got to our
destination. We ate and slept. And there was night and there was day.
The next morning, we went to the church for the dedication
of the babies. It was amazing seeing those beautiful big babies. The parents’
faces were beaming with happiness. I was astounded at how great God is. We
danced. My friends and I sang. While we were getting off the rugged stage, I
stepped on this spot that looked firm. And mind you, I was in one of them sexy
heels you see around. I stepped on that not-so-firm spot and landed on the
floor, in front of the entire church. My friend picked me up, shame and all and
I smiled to my seat.
The pastor was a fervent man. I loved the passion and love
he seemed to have for the church. His wife was really cool too. Had this
amazing voice. Sultry. After the service, we moved to the rice and stew
department. We left the reception pretty early because we wanted to go to the
cinemas that evening. We got back to the hotel to rest up for a bit. I took a
short nap, as did we all and woke after a few minutes. When I scanned thorough
the different social networks on my phone, my heart broke.
 | |
| Rev. and Rev. Mrs Ayodeji Cole |
A few hours ago, I was talking to my dad and he mentioned
that a politician also died and that he was a big big man. I told him… “When
people die, there’s no big or small man.” We have to treat those around us,
even if they aren’t as ‘classy’, well. We must learn to appreciate the moments
we have and enjoy them. Love hard. Live well. Pray for our nation. It’s the
only original home we got anyway.
Yours’ truly, Rantalot
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