Which Daddy?

My mum has always been very very energetic. As far back as I can remember, she would wake up like 5am every other morning and exercise. I guess I used to enjoy watching her because I figured that if I watched her, I was automatically exercising too. Or something stupid like that.


I remember one time, she would jog from our house to some far, far away place and then back. One day, I felt really embarrassed about my lack of exercise. I mean, I'm supposed to be the younger, stronger one, right? I told her I would start jogging with her.

So, one morning, I got my jog on. Before long, she had left me behind. I think I walked more than I jogged. Deep down inside of me, I called myself all kinds of names for ever thinking exercising was something I was or would ever be interested in. I think I was still on my way to the destination while she was on her way back. Or something embarrassing like that.

Recently, in a different house, my mum decided to start exercising again. First, she would walk from our house to some far, far away estate and back. Then my totally, genius, Einstein mum got a brilliant idea. The 'Jog-In-The-House' Idea.

There's a passage way in the house that's quite long. And it runs into the living room, which is also quite big. My mum started jogging this route. Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. And alas, it felt like outside. Sweat, beautiful sweat.

Thing is, One of the reasons I didn't like exercise was because I didn't want to leave my comfort zone. I didn't want to be running and sweating on the streets with strange men and women looking at me. Judging me. Expecting too much from me. One time, I was jogging with my mum and some people on the road thought it was their duty to mock me because my mum was ahead of me. All the time. So you can understand why the in-house idea was appealing.

Anyway, one night, I took out my shorts, sports bra (If you're gonna sweat, you might as well be sexy doing it), and my trainers and started to jog this route. Every night. Sometimes really early in the morning. I'm loving it. I feel energetic. I think maybe I feel a little too energetic because I don't sleep much at night. And then I feel like a wet rag in the morning. Or something tired like that.

It turns out I'm also becoming something of a know-it-all, aka Oversabi. A few hours ago, my mum asked me to get her indomie. When I returned with the indomie, my mum asked;


MUM: What about the mineral?
ME: Mineral? Which mineral?
MUM: Or the maltina
ME: Maltina? Did u ask me to get maltina?
MUM: Where is it?
ME: You shouldn't be taking drinks sef...or your exercise will be wasting.
MUM: *rolls her eyes*
ME: Seriously.
MUM: I've been exercising before you were born.
ME: You're my role model.
MUM: I know. In everything.
ME: uhm...not really. Not in singing.
MUM: You got your singing from me.
ME: No
MUM: I was in the Methodist choir before
ME: I can't sing because of you.
MUM: Yes you can.
ME: Prove it. Sing something.
MUM: No. Because I don't like to pose
ME: Pose!
MUM: No
ME: Just sing
MUM: *starts hymn* Praise to the Lord...

I  had to get away from her before I choked with laughter.
Minutes later, my mum was eating her noodles and I advised;

ME: You shouldn't be eating too late. That's how people get stomach fat.
MUM: My stomach was flatter than yours when I was your age.
ME: That's why I'm exercising.
MUM: *ignores me*
ME: Mummy we're also supposed to eat in small portions.
MUM: Miss Discovery. (Or something like that)

....She got tired of my voice and increased the TV volume. I accused her of ignoring me and disrespecting my opinion. Or something like that. The TV was too loud for her to care. So I came in my room to write this post.
______________________

Readalot, if you're loyal to this blog, you would know that my mum is single and err...waiting to be searched for. So, every once in while, we kind of talk about it.

A few days ago, my mum and I had this weird conversation;

ME: Mummy, someone asked me what I would call your husband if you remarry.
MUM: What will you call him before? Daddy na.
ME: Which daddy?
MUM: What do you want to call him?
ME: Uncle, broda...
MUM: Which uncle?
ME: Which daddy?

Earlier today, my mum was getting dressed and I went and tried to play with her and she pushed me away. Hurt, I told her;

ME: Mummy I don't understand this our relationship any longer.

MUM: Which useless relationship?
ME: Our mother-daughter relationship. You don't show me love.
ME: *Hiss*

I let it go.
Just before she stepped out, my mum told me;

MUM: I want to marry. I want to spoil somebody with love.
ME: Awww.
MUM: The only problem is all these Christian brothers are already married. And I don't want to go to club.
ME: Go to club na.
MUM: And do what?
ME: Meet people na.
MUM: So when I get there will I be winking at them?

I was laughing too much to respond, and she left before I was done. I love my mummy. She makes me laugh. I know whoever's gonna end up with my mama is gonna be the luckiest man alive....Scratch that. He'll be the second luckiest man alive...the luckiest man alive will end up with me. *wink*

Yours truly, Rantalot