Monday, February 4, 2013

The Pursuit Of Happyness

Dear Readalot,

Happiness is a beautiful thing. Sometimes you have to chase it. Most times. Other times it is given to you as a gift from God.

I will be dumping a lot of random rants in this post. :)

A few weeks ago, My brother, Yellalot, (refer to post *Trade By Barter*) and his wife had a little baby girl. I call her my lil' bit of heaven. I love her deeply. Thing is, she came with a lotta drama.

Nobody knows her real name - A few hours just before she was born, my mother sent a message to Yellalot's wife. "Her name is Jesutofunmi". However, months before she was born, her father said, "Her name is Oluwabukunmi". Anyway, after she was born, my mother went to take care of her granddaughter and the struggle began.

I told my mother -

ME: Mummy please let the father name his child. Abi wazz all dis?
MUMMY: Please leave me. Everybody should call her whatever they want. Me, I call her Jesutofunmi.
ME: *sigh* Mummy that's not Christian-like.
MUMMY: Whatever.

My other brother, Wozealot, decided he didn't like the drama and now calls her "Princess."

Welcome, my little Princess Oluwabukunmi Jesutofunmi Etc. We love you.

- Wozealot has run back to Poland. He was getting way too depressed. He ran to find happiness and found snow instead. He has now started posting on FB in Polish (not the shoe-shiner but the language of people in Poland). He does this to spite me. I'm sure of it.

- My mother has chosen to wear leggings and sleeveless tank tops at my brother's house where she's taking care of her granddaughter. Visitors now think she's my brother's sister. Or wife. I've advised her but she honestly doesn't have iro and buba.

- I've always been of the opinion that if you don't know something. Shut up about it. If you must talk about it, ask what it is. There are too many people in this cold world waiting to laugh at you.

When I was in SS.3, one of my classmates was gisting me and a few other girls. She was bragging about her boyfriend and girls being girls, we wanted to know pretty much everything. The conversation went something like this.

BRAGGING GIRL: Ah my boyfriend has one very nice car like this.
GIRL1: For real? That's nice men.
GIRL2: Na lie jor.
BRAGGING GIRL: I'm not lying.
GIRL2: Oya, what kind of car?
GIRL3: You say?
BRAGGING GIRL: The name of the car is Forward
GIRL3: Which one is forward? I've never heard of a car called forward.
BRAGGING GIRL: The car is not very common sha.
GIRL3:  O_o I don't believe.
BRAGGING GIRL: I swear. They wrote 4WD on the car.

SMH. The sad thing is I didn't make that story up. Her boyfriend had a car called Forward. She even had proof "4WD". So those of you that think it means 'Four Wheel Drive' - You are wrong!

If you don't know something. Don't act like you know it. I'm the type to ask a lot of questions. My mum has told me numerous times that I ask stupid questions. I told her we'd have to agree to disagree.

At first, it was like this -

MUMC: Simi I need you to help me go and collect the cloth from the tailor.
SIMI: Why?
MUMC: Because I need them.
SIMI: For what?
MUMC: For the wedding.
SIMI: Can't you wear something else? What's the tailor's name?
MUMC: SMH. Stupid question.
SIMI: Mummy you're hurting my feelings. :(

And then she started to expect my questions, so it's become like this -

MUMC: Simi I need you to help me collect the cloth from the tailor.
SIMI: Okay.
MUMC: Stupid question.
SIMI: *sigh*

Ask questions! Learn! No matter what your mother thinks/says. And trust me, your mother will say many things. Just yesterday, we had this weird coversation.

MUMC: I don't know how I managed to invite 60 people to one group yesterday.
ME: Your phone is touching.
MUMC: Everybody was just asking me what happened.
ME: Ok.
MUMC: Everybody except my own children. You and my sons did not even ask me what happened.
ME: I can't stand group chats, so I just leave. I didn't even know it was you that invited me.
MUMC: You should have asked. Very bad. What if they had kidnapped me?
ME: Mummy they'll kidnap you and you'll be opening BB group?
MUMC: Yes now. To plan rescue mission.
ME: *sigh*

My mother makes my blog go round.

Before I run off, I have this one last gist. Two days ago, when I was about to take a little nap, I heard noise coming from the street and I ran out. They had caught a thief at the kiosk just opposite our house. They beat this boy and tore all his cloths.

He must have thought stealing a 10k naira Nokia phone would bring him some kind of joy.

As they beat him, I begged for him and took pictures at the same time. I hoped nobody would find me and beat me as well.

Also, a big SHOUTOUT to the SUPER Eagles, who, in spite of their strong attempt to give me and many Nigerians hypertension, qualified for the AFCON 2013 semi-finals. I'm rooting for you.

At the end of the day - At the end of the gist - I'm happy. Very much so. :)

Yours truly, Rantalot.


  1. wow, i enjoyed reading ur blog.. u should take time to check mine and follow me on twitter @HRM_Whunmie!

  2. Lol..d convo btw u and ur mum and d '4WD'had me laffin like madt..I also thot it was 4 wheel drive oo,lol..

  3. LOL.. Nice on there Rantalot. All the stories were nice. The rant about the theif suggests that you would be a good news reporter. *wink*

  4. I enjoy ur blog. I hope ur this down to earth in reality. Ve bookmarked it so I shall be here always. Keep it up!

  5. Hehehehe!! Simi Simi! Yaf come again :D... Nice one as always *winks* and d name of ma car is 2WD -_- ... Yes u gorit "Towards" 4 dos of u dat tot it was 2 wheel drive (˘̯˘ ) ...


  6. Hehehehehe!!! Simi! Simi!! Yaf comes again abi... Really nice write up as always :)... Lol @ ur borthers names too... Me too ayaf a very uncommon car oo its called 2WD -_- Yes... "Toward" and not 2wheel drive (˘̯˘ )

  7. I absolutely adore u Rantalot....fab piece!

  8. I stumbled upon your blog yesterday and by today, I had read all your posts. You have a wonderful way of writing, got me laughing so much. I totally love your blog and your family esp your mom is something else. Keep writing and I would keep reading.


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