Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Chelsea for life!!!

SHE :- Gooooaaaaal!!!!!!
HE :- Honey, the ball is at the back of the net.
SHE :- Oh. I really thought Messi would have scored that one.
HE :- Sweetie, that was Rooney.
SHE :- But you told me yesterday that it was Messi.
HE :- Babe, that was another team and game.
SHE :- Oh, ok. So Rooney and Messi are teammates?
HE :- *sigh*

If you see ten naija men, eight will probably be diehard football fans. Naija men love their football. Sorry, let me rephrase that. Naija men are crazy about football. For my ‘Hamrican’ readers, we’re talking about soccer. I’ve seen many of them cry, laugh, make friends, make enemies, get drunk and even get beaten up for that game. That game that FIFA is yet to pay them for. That game!!!

Ladies, for years now, have complained and whined about this insane addiction that their men have. “You love this stupid game more than you love me.” She would cry.

Wanting to surprise her husband, she would cook his favourite dish and wear that red sexy panty-hose thing. “I’m gonna make him feel alright.” She would say happily as she lights candles all over the house. She plans to surprise her husband with the perfect romantic night. At about 8:45pm, her husband is banging on the house door. “Chineye…Chineeeeeeyeee open this door na.” She rushes to the door excited and opens it as she strikes a to-die-for Madonna pose. Oga ignores the pose, hurries inside the house and grabs the remote. “What are you doing?” Chineye asks. “You didn’t see me standing here shey? You didn’t notice the candles?”…Dan glances at her briefly. “Oh that? I thought you were doing yoga or something. Plus the game started fifteen minutes ago.” He looks back at the TV…the game.

Having competed with football for years and lost…EVERYTIME, women have now learned to live the “If you can’t beat them, join them” lifestyle. This is why we have so many Chealsea, Manchester United, Arsenal and Barcelona fans that don’t know jack about their so-called teams. They buy original jerseys and stamp their names on the back of them so their ‘baby’ can be proud. 

If a babe is in the middle of guys having a conversation about football, she tries to contribute so she doesn't seem clueless, even if in the end, she seems even more clueless than they first thought.
Some babes change teams as soon as they change 'babies', so they forget what team they’re supporting sometimes. One week they post - “Chelsea for life. Up Blues” and the next, “Barca forever. Merciless Messi”.

Guys when you see your lady making the effort, you sef encourage her. It’s not easy to pretend that you care about C. Ronaldo….He does have nice abs though. (-_-)

Yours truly, Rantalot

P.S: Happy birthday to my amazing mama :)


  1. Very impressive.. i like the fact that you make your story natural and homely..

  2. 'Oh that? I thought you were doing yoga or something. Plus the game started fifteen minutes ago.” He looks back at the TV…the game.' Easily the funniest thing I've heard this evening. Nice piece

  3. Nice. Rant... (Winks)

  4. iamdpsychosaintMay 31, 2012 4:32 PM

    1st of all,goin by d footie thingy,I'm clearly NOT a naija man. Nd its a gud thing I ain't gt a gun.....I'd shoot evry football/team chanting looney I see if I did(females would get 3shots for being lame ass-kissers). Lol

  5. @omogesweetsopMay 31, 2012 5:12 PM

    Loool, my sub? No? Aoii, d girl sha sounded like me besides the 'married part'

  6. So true, nice one

  7. This is definitely ur funniest blog yet. The 'cluelessness' of women wrt to sports is a constant source of amusement to me.

  8. Funny but so real...many ladies hv learnt to plan there "alone time with boo" around d football timetable u see a girl asking a guy are dy playing any match today?,who is playing?dont be decieved,its Not bcos she cares abt 22+ grown men runing after a piece of leather,but jst cos she's trying to duplicate her boos happen to like soccer although I'm not crazy abt it

  9. Well well...this is amazing and funny and I feel sorry for us women cuz it can be the guys should encourage us o even wen we mix up the names and the teams as rantalot said.


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