I’m going to tell you a story about thieves. The story does not belong to me. It belongs to a member of my family. No, he was not the thief. *Pause* Well, I’m not counting the one time he took my chocolate. (-_-)
Onie fateful day, Calmalot, my brother, was home alone and he was starving. Note: He’s always starving. Anyways, he was starving and decided to boil some rice to survive. I need to point out here that Calmalot is the most horrible cook I have ever seen in the universe.
He was in the kitchen, putting all the wrong ingredients in the pot of rice. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. He reluctantly left his Harry Potter potion and went to answer the door. He asked who was at the door, the woman that lived in the flat downstairs answered that it was her.
Calmalot unlocked the door and pulled it open. Three men pushed the woman inside and entered as well, closing the door behind them. Hungry, young Calmalot was stunned for a long minute. One of the guys pushed his face and said – “We’re armed robbers.”
I, personally, find this very weird. Since when did armed robbers start introducing themselves? And what do you say to that? “Nice to meet you”? O_o.
I don’t think a vampire would show at your place and go – “What’s up, I’m a vampire.” Maybe Nigerian vampires, since Nigerians like to show-off about the dumbest things.
“My headlight get swag pass your headlight! Reeeespekt! ” (-_-)
“We’re armed robbers.” One of the three guys said. Calmalot looked at them like, ‘Okay, so what can I do for you?’. Well that’s what he said he did. He’s also said he’s cuter than me. He might have been lying again.
Anyway, the thief brought out a gun from his pocket and pointed it in Calmalot’s face. Calmalot looked at the guy holding the gun incredulously and said, “This is toy gun na.”
You’re thinking now that I’m making this up. I thought the same for a bit. The thing, however, is that the woman (the neighbour from downstairs who I’m still planning bad thing for, because I don’t know how you will bring tiff to my house) confirmed this story.
“This is toy gun na.” He said.
The gun-guy looked at Calmalot like he had lost his mind. Unfortunately, he really HAD lost his mind. Gun-guy recovered from the shock and told my brother and the woman from downstairs to lie on the floor. Calmalot told me that at this point, what he was really thinking about was how hungry he was and the potion he had left on the cooker. *sigh*
They asked him to stand up and take them to his mum’s room. On their way there, they went by my room. I happened to be in school at the time. My room was locked though. Unnecessarily so, as the most expensive thing there was probably the mattress.
They went to the mother’s room, found it locked. They kicked it open. They ransacked the entire room. Tore the whole place apart. Turned the bed upside down. Her cloths were thrown all over the place. After ransacking everything, the only thing they could find was this cute red phone that I had been ogling for ages.
The red phone. This phone was a beautiful, red, sleek, useless phone. Very useless phone. The biggest deal about this phone was that it could make and take calls. But it was a sezzy lirru tin. My mum had other phones she was using so it was mostly decoration. I begged her, but she wouldn’t give it to me. I swallowed my pride and kept begging, all to no avail.
The thieves took the phone. (I won’t say my head caught somebody, but my head sha did something -_-)
When they had finished vexing that all their hard work didn’t count for much, they were going to leave the house in anger and my mum’s room, a complete mess. Calmalot looked at them as they were stepping out of the room – “So now you’ve scattered the whole room and you didn’t even take anything, you people should better arrange the room.”
If I was the thief, I would have shot his foot, at least. And that’s if I was a gentle thief. Thank God I was at school. If I had experienced that, it would have totally injured me mentally. Also, it would have been me who had to fix mumcee's room afterwards ( ˘˘̯)
So, they locked Calmalot and the woman in the bathroom before they left. I guess we can say there was a bright side to this. He didn’t eat the rice. Therefore, he lived.
P.S: I think it was a toy gun.
Yours truly, Rantalot