Kenya West

Dear Readalot,

Just this morning, my sis and I were eating breakfast and watching E! A couple of funny 'Aboki' men were cutting the grass in our backyard. They had been joking around with us since they got to the house. They even asked to cook rice and stew for them..

Suddenly we heard a loud noise from out back. We rushed to the back to find out what happened. My sister asked them;



SIS: Wetin happen?
ABOKI: Na that tin fall down.
SIS: Which tin?
ABOKI: Na the candle.
SIS: Which candle?

They pointed at a bunch of old, faulty fluorescent lamps. "That candle." They said.

My sis, Sweetalot, (she's extremely sweet), and I went back to the living room, laughing. It was extremely funny that the lads outside thought fluorescent lamps were called candles. Eventually, we got back to watching E! One of the Kardashian shows was on. Sweetalot saw Kim Kardashian and she said;

SWEETALOT: Ehen...Is this one not married to Kenya West?
ME: To who?
SWEETALOT: Kenya West na.

I hurriedly type something on my laptop. Everyone in my family knows that when they say something and I quickly write something down, they've messed up. She looks at me, feeling betrayed;

SWEETALOT: Simi na. Don't type anything. Correct me na. Is it not Kenya? Abi Kenye?
ME: Wait let me write it before I forget.

________________________


The other day, my mum put up a picture of my niece, her grandchild, on our BBM family group. She tagged it - "Taking my birth and sleeping." I commented. I had to;

ME: How did you take your birth? I want to know. You can tell your aunty anythg.

My mum, who was answering on behalf of my 5 month old neice responded;

MUM: The spelling is anything, not anythg.
ME: The spelling is bath, not birth -_-
MUM: Thanks.

I was a bit shocked my mum thanked me. My mum doesn't thank me much. Even when I compliment her, I usually regret it;

ME: Mummy your bag is fine.
MUM: I know. That's why I bought it.

So yea, I was shocked that she thanked me for dissing her grammar.

Without diverting too much, the issue at hand here is karma. We make fun of people and do things to people, forgetting whatever goes around comes around. If my sister hadn't laughed at the candle men, she probably wouldn't have said 'Kenya West". If my mum hadn't dissed my abbreviation, I probably would have let her get away with "Taking my birth."

It's not just about grammar. It's everything. Everything. What you give is what you get. It might take a while. But it's coming.

Abacha got an apple.
Rev. King got a hanging.
Osama got a bullet.
Alamieyeseigha got women's clothes.

Etc...

Good thing is, you reap good if you do good.


Yours truly, Rantalot.