Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Look mama...No hands!!!!

It’s amazing to see how completely and ridiculously wasteful we humans can be sometimes. Very wasteful lot. We have so much and use it so little.

Once, a close friend of mine (name withheld for my safety) was on her way to work very early in the morning. She had to meet up with the staff bus at about five in the morning. As she waited for a car to go by, so she could cross the road, someone walked up to her. With all confidence, he walked up to her and gave her a mind-blowing slap on her back (aka. ABARA). In pain and surprise, my friend looked up at the stranger. Alas, it was a mad man. A mad man!!!

God gave us all legs for very important reasons - To wear red bottoms. To dance Azonto. But most importantly, He gave us legs to run from mad people, and oncoming trailers and trigger-happy policemen. Run for our lives. Run Run Run. Unfortunately, my friend forgot. She looked in the face of the mad man and said, “Blood of Jesus”…#pause…I wonder if the man was puzzled, amazed, or angry before he landed another one on her back. I guess I’ll never know. Anyways, after the second one, she remembered. She remembered that she need not be wasteful of her God-given legs. She ran. And she lived happily ever after – Keyword, *Lived*.

Another instance of wastefulness that comes to mind is when I went ice-skating for the first time (only time) in my life. I must have won something that day because I thought I was capable of conquering the skating rink (the ice-block thing). That day, my friends – who I’m still not sure I’ll ever forgive – drove me to the spot. I pulled the ice skates on and got on the ice. For the first two seconds, I was smiling. However, within a few minutes, I was still on the ice…Only this time, I was skating with my face. You know how in the movies, something happens and you have no memory of the incident? It was the same experience. One second I was on my feet, the next, I was on my face. I wasted my wisdom. My wisdom would have told me “Sit your butt down in that house”. Fortunately, I didn't have to put ice on it..I already fell on ice.

When I was younger, loads of guys on the street would show off on their bikes. “See me, See me. I can ride standing.” “Yeeeeeees, I’ve removed my legs.” “Look mama, no hands…I’m riding with no hands.” Enough stunting full ground. I, on the other hand, always had at least, one hand on the bicycle. Who wanna die? O_o

One day, those boys grew up and became okada riders. I don’t know if I’m the only one who’s seen okada riders forming stunt at top speed. They remove hands. One time, I was standing by the road, about to stop an okada. From a distance, I saw the guy remove his hands and then spread them out. He was grinning widely. I was still trying to recover when I saw him lean back on the motorcycle. At top speed. O_O I had stretched out my hand to stop the bike before the stunt-show and had forgotten to put it back down. The bike guy moved next to me, smiled and asked where I was going. Again, Who wanna die? I dropped my hand and gave him the evil eye. If God wanted you to ride a motorcycle without hands, especially on Lagos roads, don't you think he would have cut them off? O_o

Plenty of people with gifts they refuse to or can't use. Limbs and brain they haven’t maximized. This made it all the more wondrous for me when I saw someone who used something he didn’t have. Yes, go ahead and read that again. I don’t wanna say too much -You, see it yourself.

"Look mama...No hands!!!!!!!" O_O

Yours truly, Rantalot


  1. Wow... 9ice1 ☺

  2. Mama, U̶̲̥̅̊ crazy!
    Especially d abara story...
    9ce one, professionaly done, hillarious & strait to d point!
    Proud of U̶̲̥̅̊ mama

  3. hilarious as usual. The bit about d mad man n ur friend got me rolling. liked d bike part too, not so much d ice skating part. It's cool though. More pls... :) :):)

  4. Another insightful and comedic story but also very inspiring! Keep up the good work!


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