Agberophobia

A few mornings ago, I, my sister, my sister-in-law, my mum and our guardian angels gathered for a quick gist/gossip session. Something came up that brought something else up, that brought something else up, that brought one gist I had kept somewhere at the back of my mind up. They had a good time laughing at me – Why shouldn’t you? :p

I used to have a phobia for agbero boys. To me, they were like the powers that be. They could do anything they wanted and get away with it. If they insulted you, you should thank them. Don’t look them in the eye. If they ask you for money, give them with a smile…and even then, don’t smile too wide. Call them ‘brother’ or ‘uncle’ if necessary. NOTE: It is ALWAYS necessary.

If you’re a regular visitor to The Rant Lot, you’ll remember I mentioned I grew up in one gangster area. I was walking in this gangster area one day, strolling by myself to go buy something or the other. On my way back home, a young man of average height stepped to me and pulled me back

“Baby.” He said. “Baby, wa now.” I looked at him. With his raggedy everything; I knew he was an agbero. Under normal circumstances, I would give the guy the evil eye, hiss and walk away. This, my brethren, was not a normal circumstance. An agbero was involved. So, I stopped and looked at him tentatively. “Sir?” I said, timidly. He looked me over and smiled. 

“Bawo ni? O ma fine gan.” He said.

“Ese Sir.” I replied and remained where I was standing. ‘He hadn’t released me’, I thought to myself.

This agbero, let’s call him Fearalot said he loved me and wanted me to be his girlfriend. I smiled politely and spent over an hour trying to explain to him that I had a boyfriend. I told him I really liked him and would have given him a chance but I was hooked. Fearalot said he doesn’t mind. He was completely willing to share me with my boyfriend. I stood there and listened to him try to convince me that he was the one for me. (If you can, picture me walking down the aisle with an agbero - *sigh*). In all that time, I was shaking with fear. I stayed, because I worried that he would find me at a later time and hurt me or maybe beat up my family -_-

At one point he asked me if he wasn’t good-looking enough. “Se mi o dun to ni?” He asked, pointing at himself. I looked him over, funny cloths and all and told him he was extremely handsome and that it wasn’t about that. After a while, I gathered a little courage and said I had to get back home, because my dad was waiting for me. He insisted he would follow me home. O_O Follow me home ke?? He walked with me until I was almost home. I let him walk with me.

Another Rule – Never tell an agbero not to walk with you if he wants to. However, I stopped and begged him to go back. I couldn’t afford to have all those guys I had been forming for in my area, see me with him.

Fearalot looked at me and asked how he would be sure that I would come see him like I had ‘promised’. I had this bandana on my hair that I had recently bought and was in love with. I took it off and gave it to him. Told him I would find him and come get it. Finally, he turned and left.

The fear of agbero is the beginning of idiocy (-_-)

Yours truly, Rantalot.